We arrived at the pet hospital. My brothers knew exactly where to go and rang the doorbell of the emergency section. A lady behind the counter buzzed us in. She asked if we are here to see the large black dog. My brother said yes. She led us to the room next door. As she was walking, she asked if he was ran over by car coz he has a broken elbow. I responded calmly, "No, he jumped off the balcony." These words sound so sad and tragic.
She opened the door and there he laid. He was placed on a loading/unloading cart underneath 2 blankets - one white and one blue. Some blood spots seaped through the blanket. His stretched body filled the whole bed of the cart. His right arm was hanging out slightly from the edge of the cart bed. Again, I froze.
I must be standing at the door, looking at his body for quite a few seconds as my brother asked:
"Do you want me to do it?"
"No." I can handle this and I can pull back the blankets on my own.
I went forward right next to Shasta on the cart. I started to cry and pulled back the blankets just enough to see his face and arms. He looked perfect.
His eyes were shut with a little gap. He looked like he was in really deep sleep. I tried to close his eyes entirely but they won't close. Maybe that's how it is, his eyes were never fully closed at times when he slept. He looked really clean and whole. There were some dried up blood from his ears and nose. I took out damp baby wipes and cleaned his face and ears. I want him to be clean and perfect. His body did not show that he fell from the balcony. The lady had mentioned that he probably died of hemorrhage.
I removed his collar and put it in my bag.
I touched my favorite features of shasta - his soft ears. When he was a puppy, I had wished for his ears to grow longer coz I like dogs with floppy ears. Shasta's ears were kind of all over so I always try to "comb" his ears downwards so that they could flop downwards. It did some wonders, his ears were flopped down on some days when they felt like it. While for the rest of his siblings, their ears were pointy and up.
I leaned forward to his ears and whispered, "I'm sorry. I love you." I gave him a kiss. I also told him that he is a good boy. I stroked his chest. When Shasta felt scared, we stroked his chest and he had learnt over the years that the command "settle" means to calm down. I can only guess that he was scared when he realized that there's no flower bed to land his paws. I hoped that he would not be scared anymore.
I left the room the made arrangements for his cremation. The earliest appointment is this Sat, May 31, morning. It takes about 2 to 3 hours for his body to turn into ashes. He is a big dog and thus, his body will be the only one cremated at that time. We can only collect his ashes on Monday. It takes till sat evening for the ashes to cool down entirely.
I asked the lady if I could come back again during the week and she said no, they can't. They have to keep his body in the cold room and it is not good to keep bringing his body in and out of the cold room.
I understand. I thanked her.
I wasn't ready to leave the place...I went back to the room and touched shasta again. His coat was still smooth and soft...maybe because he was kept in a cold room. I felt the rest of his body...it didn't feel like he was dead...he felt the same. The only difference is that he was very still. I think he may have put on some weight too.
Shasta looked peaceful.
A part of me is glad that his cremation is Sat...he is not ashes yet...I can still see his sweet face on Sat one last time...I can still feel him on Sat.
She opened the door and there he laid. He was placed on a loading/unloading cart underneath 2 blankets - one white and one blue. Some blood spots seaped through the blanket. His stretched body filled the whole bed of the cart. His right arm was hanging out slightly from the edge of the cart bed. Again, I froze.
I must be standing at the door, looking at his body for quite a few seconds as my brother asked:
"Do you want me to do it?"
"No." I can handle this and I can pull back the blankets on my own.
I went forward right next to Shasta on the cart. I started to cry and pulled back the blankets just enough to see his face and arms. He looked perfect.
His eyes were shut with a little gap. He looked like he was in really deep sleep. I tried to close his eyes entirely but they won't close. Maybe that's how it is, his eyes were never fully closed at times when he slept. He looked really clean and whole. There were some dried up blood from his ears and nose. I took out damp baby wipes and cleaned his face and ears. I want him to be clean and perfect. His body did not show that he fell from the balcony. The lady had mentioned that he probably died of hemorrhage.
I removed his collar and put it in my bag.
I touched my favorite features of shasta - his soft ears. When he was a puppy, I had wished for his ears to grow longer coz I like dogs with floppy ears. Shasta's ears were kind of all over so I always try to "comb" his ears downwards so that they could flop downwards. It did some wonders, his ears were flopped down on some days when they felt like it. While for the rest of his siblings, their ears were pointy and up.
I leaned forward to his ears and whispered, "I'm sorry. I love you." I gave him a kiss. I also told him that he is a good boy. I stroked his chest. When Shasta felt scared, we stroked his chest and he had learnt over the years that the command "settle" means to calm down. I can only guess that he was scared when he realized that there's no flower bed to land his paws. I hoped that he would not be scared anymore.
I left the room the made arrangements for his cremation. The earliest appointment is this Sat, May 31, morning. It takes about 2 to 3 hours for his body to turn into ashes. He is a big dog and thus, his body will be the only one cremated at that time. We can only collect his ashes on Monday. It takes till sat evening for the ashes to cool down entirely.
I asked the lady if I could come back again during the week and she said no, they can't. They have to keep his body in the cold room and it is not good to keep bringing his body in and out of the cold room.
I understand. I thanked her.
I wasn't ready to leave the place...I went back to the room and touched shasta again. His coat was still smooth and soft...maybe because he was kept in a cold room. I felt the rest of his body...it didn't feel like he was dead...he felt the same. The only difference is that he was very still. I think he may have put on some weight too.
Shasta looked peaceful.
A part of me is glad that his cremation is Sat...he is not ashes yet...I can still see his sweet face on Sat one last time...I can still feel him on Sat.
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