The Elevator...

is where I am going to commit murder...

The elevator and all it's going ons within has long been an issue with me. My co-workers in SF know this and are constantly telling me their elevator stories. Well, I am going against the flow in Singapore and... ahhhhhh, let me just tell you.

(1) If you are standing right by the door of the elevator when it opens and people need to get out... then STEP THE F**K OUT and let the people within get out. By pulling your shoulders in so that the people can get around you... DOES NOT WORK. Pulling your shoulders in just increased the space to get by by... ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. I, me, the 200lb FAT F**K can't pass through the ABSOLUTELY NOTHING worth of space that you, the brainless F**K, just created. I couldn't before you pulled your shoulders together, I still can't after... so, STEP THE F**K OUT and let me out of the elevator.
Seriously, what is your fear of stepping out of the elevator to let people out? The elevator will leave without you? Highly unlikely, but if it does.... oh well... there will be one more in a few minutes. Maybe the sign I saw in the toilet about "kindness", that should be posted in the elevator...

(2) Pressing on the "door close" button DOES NOT make the door close any faster. If it is ALREADY closing, it won't help you.. NOT ONE F**KING BIT. It doesn't matter if you hit it TWICE or FIFTEEN F**KING times, (NEWS FLASH!!!) it has the same effect as pressing the button ONE (I repeat, ONE) time. ONCE... that's enough.
That's what my ex-coworkers in SF know about me. I watch for the "button pressers" and they will tell me their "button pressers" stories when they get to work in the morning. You know what's funny. ASIANS ARE THE ONLY F**KING BUTTON PRESSERS!!! Don't believe me, ask them. They (and I) have NEVER seen a white, black or hispanic person press the "door close" button. NEVER.
Why? Why can't you wait another 2 seconds for the door to close. Time it, it is only 2 more seconds.

Here's the confusing part. That f**king retard that blocked me from coming out the elevator will be the same f**king retard that will press the "door close" button. The time you wasted waiting for me to go around you and push my way out is MORE than the time it takes for the door to close.

Yes, I am going mad. And what do mad people do... they either kill themselves or they kill others. I like myself too much to kill myself... I ain't feeding myself to the white tigers. I will f**king feed the next idiot that blocks me to the white tigers.