Everything here is SMALL!!

It's been a few days more than a month since I arrived in Singapore.

I'm still unemployed, but things are picking up after the Chinese (Lunar) New Year break.

I'm still not adjusted to the weather... it sucks, the weather that is, NOT my not adjusting to it.

And I have re-discovered that everything here (and possibly in the rest of Asia) is small.

Vehicles are in generally smaller. There are people who drive SUVs but they are not nearly as common as the US. Mazda has a Mazda 1 and Mazda 2, but the smallest US version is a Mazda 3.

Food portions are smaller. One serving doesn't quite fill me up. Watch out Troy!! I have no clue how you will be full here.

Grocery/Necessities shopping. There is no such thing as Costco sizes. In fact, there is a store here that promotes itself as cheaper because they "sell in bulk", but it is NOTHING close to Costco. I do miss Costco.

*** Caution for Shonn: The largest packaging of tp is 12, not like the Costco size of 36. And the rolls are smaller too!!! You might be running into a few problems as far as tp is concerned. I don't think I need tp as much as you do and am getting annoyed as to how quickly they run out... I don't know about you. Maybe you should ship some tp from Costco here when you move. ***

People are small. They are! Seriously. Imagine a whole country of Allens and Matts (Sorry guys, but I had to give a visual and you are the size that was comparable). Everything is small including T&A!!! LOL!!!

Dogs are small!!! Everyone has a fucking foo foo dog!!! Sorry Basil. But everyone's dog is Basil's size or smaller. And that's where this story is going to lead...

It's about Shasta, the 104lb Black Labrador mix. Most of you in the Bay Area have seen and played with Shasta. And aside from Allen, I don't think anyone is afraid of him. When he returned home, since we don't have a yard, I have to take him out for a walk a couple of times a day. I try to do the first walk after 10am in the morning since I'm not working at the moment. I choose after 10am because, by this time, most people have left for work. I walk him again before 6pm because, again, there is usually less people around at that time. I choose these times because when people see him, they think I'm walking a fucking grizzly bear or something to that effect.

Experience #1

Happens quite frequently. I'm walking on one side of the road, someone else who is walking on the same side crosses the road to avoid him.

Experience #2

I'm walking towards a worker who is on a ladder painting something. The worker steps down from the ladder, stands behind the ladder facing us. After we pass the worker, he climbs back up the ladder to resume his work.

Experience #3

I will try to describe this as best as possible, but being here would probably have been best.

I'm walking Shasta and am about 50 yards away from a group of Japanese girls, possibly aged between 6-10. There are about 5-6 of them. One of them turns around and sees me with Shasta. She turns back to her friends, says something to them, they all turn to look at me and they all SCREAM AND SCATTER. I really mean scatter. They ran in all possible directions. 

2 of them run towards the back entrance of the condo block that we live in and coincidentally, the place that Shasta and I are headed. The others have disappeared but one of them who has disappeared suddenly reappears behind me. She needs to go to the same condo block too. Her friends who are currently standing by the door yell something at her. I make Shasta sit so he doesn't look so intimidating. She walks till about 6 ft from Shasta and I and then runs back in the opposite direction retreating from us. She tries it a second time and the exact same thing happens. On her 3rd attempt, I wave her to go by Shasta and I and she does so very, very apprehensively. When she gets to her friends, they console her as if she just walked through a war zone and made it out alive.

Experience #4

I'm going to describe a conversation to you.

I walked out the main door of the condo and I see people walking in our direction. It is an "L" shaped path but there are hedges and so, I can see people from waist up and vice versa and therefore, they can't see Shasta. I make him sit so they can walk past him without getting a shock.

2 small girls (maybe 5 and 7 years old) turn round the corner. They are a little startled, but the older girl keeps yelling "hi doggie! hi doggie!!". She stands about 3 ft from us and continues to yell "hi doggie!"

Dad turns round the corner, is startled and walks behind his daughters and stands there. His daughters separating him from Shasta!!! (Reminds me of Fivie separating me from the bear at Mt. Shasta!)

Mom turns round the corner, is just a little startled and walks past Shasta and I.

Mom then says: "That is not a doggie."

I had started walking away with Shasta but when she made that comment, I slowed down to hear what she had to say to her daughters.

Daughter yells again: "Hi doggie!"

Mom repeats: "That is not a doggie."

Mom continues: "That is a big dog, not a doggie."

I almost died when I heard that. A big dog is not a doggie. What will these fucking idiots be teaching their kids next???

I have to go walk my big dog now. Hopefully he doesn't eat a doggie when he meets one. If I were him, I would.

Shasta comes home...

Thursday, Feb 21, 2008

Shasta is released from SAQS. I pick him up at 10:30am and bring him home.

He is, as usual, very excited to have human contact.

He comes home and sniffs everything in the house. I think he is wondering where Jessica is.

He seems to be adjusting fine but we will only be able to tell after a few days at home.

So, stay tuned...

Taxicab Confessions - Singapore Style

This post is about a conversation I had in a taxicab a few days ago. This is unlike the HBO version of Taxicab confessions where the passenger tells/shows the driver a "confession". Instead, this is where the cab driver tells me his "confession". 

**** WARNING **** This is my version of parental control.

THIS STORY MAY BE A LITTLE DISTURBING. IF YOU ARE TROUBLED BY THE TEENAGE SEX INDUSTRY IN ASIA (or for that matter any part of the world), YOU MAY NOT WANT TO READ ON. IT IS NOT GRAPHIC AS THIS IS JUST A CONVERSATION, HOWEVER, SOME OF THE SCENES SHARED BY THE DRIVER MAY BE VERY DISTURBING.

This conversation happened in a mixture of English, Mandarin and Hokkien (a Chinese dialect). It was conducted in primarily Mandarin and Hokkien and I am trying my best to translate the entire conversation to English. In the process, the punch of the conversation is actually somewhat lost.

I get into the cab from my Parent's home to go meet my Mother-in-Law to pick up her car. My MIL is attending a funeral and the drive in the cab is going to take me about 20-30 mins. Some cab drivers in Singapore will try to strike up a conversation with you when you are in the cab. Many times, the conversation will eventually lead to them bitching and moaning about the Singapore government. It is almost a norm, so much so that, if they don't bitch about the government, the conversation is actually refreshing. Unfortunately, this driver did not bitch about the government but the conversation was not refreshing. It was enlightening though.

Remember, most of the conversation did not take place in English.

Cab Driver: "Not working today?"

Me: "No, on leave."

("On leave" is the Singapore version of "taking a vacation day off" (this portion of language description is specially for Mr Tom!!). I have grown tired of trying to explain why I am not working on a weekday when I get into a cab. So, my favorite answer is that I'm off, on vacation.)

Cab Driver: "Didn't go anywhere?" (Somehow, when Singaporeans "take leave", they are expected to go somewhere. I guess it's the syndrome of being cooped up in this tiny island.)

Me: "No, just taking a few days off to rest and relax" (practically unheard of)

Cab Driver: "You should go to Manila."

Me: " Why?" 

Thinking to myself, I have been to Manila when I was 12 yrs old. Manila is not often mentioned as a tourist destination in Singapore nor in the US. I know some friends who do go to some islands in the Philippines to dive, but not Manila. At the moment, an ideal vacation is not another hot, humid and crowded place. Preferably, it has to have 10 ft of snow and the temperature below freezing with close to no one present!!!

Cab Driver: "Nice place, everything is cheap." (a definitely plus for Singaporeans!!)

Me (wanting to end conversation): "My wife and I will go one day."

Cab Driver: "Cannot go with your wife."

Me, already sensing where this conversation is going, but interested in what direction the conversation is taking: "Why? You said nice place, everything is cheap. My wife likes to go shopping."

Cab Driver: "Everything is cheap, especially the girls."

Me: " You go there much?"

Cab Driver: "Once every month, once every 2 months."

Me: "Wow, that often. You just go there for the cheap girls?"

Cab Driver: "Something like that, but I don't patronize the prostitutes." (again, the punch of the conversation is not there because of the translation)

Me: "Then how do you get cheap girls?"

Cab Driver: "There are a lot of street vendors near my hotel. Some years ago, I saw this really cute girl. She was selling "national flower" (this was what he told me but I have no clue what he is talking about). I asked her how much does she make a night selling "national flower". She says 150 pesos (US$1 = PHP40.63. In 2004, it was US$1 = PHP58.   S$1 = PHP28.78. Therefore, this girls makes an equivalent of about S$5 a night). So, I tell her, I give you 150 pesos right now, you stop working and then I give you another 500 pesos and you go back to my hotel with me. The girl says she will have to ask her parents."

The cab driver, when he makes that last statement, gestures with his head to the effect that this girl was saying her parents were behind her.

Cab Driver continues: "I tell her to go ask her parents. She goes asks her parents and comes back and says ok. So, I pay her 650 pesos and she goes back to the hotel with me."

Me: "Just like that. It's that easy. Why does she have to ask her parents?"

Cab Driver: "After she leaves, her parents will be the ones selling the "national flower".

Me: "Why are her parents behind her?"

Cab Driver: " Someone has to look after her."

Me, now thoroughly surprised: "Look after her? Why?"

Me, suddenly in realization: "How old is she?"

Cab Driver: "She says she is 15."

I'm thinking to myself, this 15 yr old's parents just pimped her. OMG!! They just pimped their daughter for the equivalent of US$12.30/S$17.37!!! There is something wrong when you need to get your parents' permission to have sex. There is something REALLY wrong when your parents agree!!

Me: "So, for 500 pesos, you can have a teenage girl for one night?"

Cab Driver: "Yes, but I don't."

Me: "Why?"

Cab Driver: "I go down (from hotel) and get another one."

Me: "So you have more than one teenage girl (and I am intentional in mentioning "teenage") in one night?"

Cab Driver: "Yes, sometimes 3 or 4."

He goes on to add: "I'm only there for about 4-5 days, have to make the best of it."

Me: "Are they always this young?"

Cab Driver: "Yes, sometimes even younger. I try not to get anyone over 16 yrs old."

Me: "Younger? How young?"

Cab Driver: "You can get 10 yr olds too."

I'm in complete shock at the moment. Not necessarily at the topic being discussed, but that I'm sitting in the back of the cab of a fucking pedophile!!! 

Me: "10 years old?"

Cab Driver: "Yes. Same price."

Thank you very much for telling me that they are the same price. I REALLY needed to know that. But he was not done.

Cab Driver: "But they just play with you."

Me: "Play with you?"

Cab Driver: "Yes. "

Me: "What do you mean?"

Again, after I asked the question, I realized what he was saying.

*** REMINDER, IF YOU ARE ALREADY DISGUSTED, IT IS IN YOUR BEST INTEREST THAT YOU DO NOT READ ON. ***

Me: "So, no intercourse?"

Cab Driver, the PILLAR OF MORALITY: "Oh no, how can you have intercourse with a 10 yr old? They don't have intercourse with you, but they will masturbate and/or give oral sex. You can even ejaculate in their mouths."

My thoughts at that moment are mixed. I am very disgusted. However, I am very amused at the cab driver's thinking that it is wrong to have intercourse with a 10 yr old but it is totally fine to have oral sex with a 10 year old and have the deed performed to the end. I cannot comprehend how an adult human being is able to separate the 2 acts but at the same time not separate them fully. I am not stating an opinion on the child sex trade here because I'm not sure if there is an opinion to state. What I mean by this is, I am against children being exploited for the sex trade, however, when the child's own parents agree to using them for sex?????? I have no idea where the line is drawn here. Ok, I'm confused.

Me: "So, you go there every few months for sex with 10-16 yr olds.

Cab Driver: "Yes."

Me: "Why Philippines? Is it the only country you can find 10-16 yr olds?"

Cab Driver: "No. But I know one girl who sells "national flower" very well and her parents even invite me to their home in the village for a meal."

Me: "And then you eat and take her back to your hotel?"

Cab Driver: "Sometimes. Sometimes I just have sex with her in her house. Her parents are very nice. Sometimes, when I go look for her and she is not around, they will bring her to my hotel when she gets back."

I really have no more to say. The girl's parents pimp her out and feed the person she is being pimped to. What else is next? I was actually going to ask if he was also able to do the girl's mom and have a threesome but refrained, partly because I was afraid to hear what answer was going to be. 

We are about to reach my destination and a part of me would like to find out more, but another part of me has just been completely disgusted by this cab ride. I have to give him some instructions on where we are going, so, the conversation switches topics for a moment.

Cab Driver, just before I pay him: "You should go. Very nice young girls."

Me: "I will think about it." 

I have thought about it and when you can have oral sex with a 10 yr old, you are a sick old man (by the way, he is 60 yrs old). I can understand, and again, it's not that I'm condoning it, having sex with a 16 yr old. However, I absolutely cannot understand nor comprehend the pleasure of having oral sex with a 10 yr old. I guess it does take a certain breed to do that.

I had intentions on taking down the cab number, not necessarily to report him since he did not do anything to me. I have no idea what I was going to do. It is his private life. However, upon reaching the destination, I was already running late and my Mother-in-Law was waiting for me. I completely forgot and now only have this story to tell.

I am not going to give any more personal opinions about this conversation. Re-living this conversation by writing this blog has made me disgusted once again. 

Lunar New Year in Singapore

Unfortunately, I have neglected updating this blog due to time constraints.

I will try to be better at doing this!!

Lunar New Year, also know to most people here as Chinese New Year because many do not know that other yellow skinned people also celebrate this event, is a HUGE event here.

Jessica and I had to go to Chinatown to visit with our wedding photographer right before the New Year and I took the opportunity to take a few pictures.

When I finally figure out how to post to the blog and arrange my pictures, I will post more pictures. In the mean time, you will all have to make do with scattered pics here and there.

Today is the 4th day of the Lunar New Year. We have spent the last few days visiting with family and friends and finally got a day of rest today, ironically, this day being Sunday.

Many people put on the extra pounds during this period (much like from Thanksgiving to Christmas in the US) from eating all the goodies when they go visiting and then OVER eating the scrumptious meals served AFTER already eating all the goodies. Chinese New Year (CNY) would be a haven for all those with the munchies!!!! However, because of the heat, I hardly eat and don't even eat proper meals moving from one home to another, so, not like any of you can tell though, I am one of the very few people who can positively say I have not put on the extra pounds during this period... like it matters, right???

I will eventually get back to the activities before the 1st day of CNY. But for now, a quick rundown of the last 3 days. 

FEB 7, 2008 (FIRST DAY OF CNY)

Started off the day REAL early (by Jessica's standards) to go to my Parent's place. It is traditional (btw, I hate that word) that one shows respects by visiting one's parents first if they don't live with them. Jessica's Mom had spent the evening at our place and so, we didn't have to make a special visit to her Mom. We got to my Parent's place at about 9am, spent a few minutes there and proceeded to visit other family members. Again, it is traditional that after the parents, you visit grandparents. Unfortunately (maybe?), all my grandparents have moved on to better places. So, the next TRADITION (I'm getting sick of this word already!!!) is to visit family members, usually parent's siblings. Some families go according to age, meaning the older siblings get visited first and that's exactly what we did. We visited my Dad's oldest sibling which happens to be his brother who is also the patriarch of the family. When I was younger and living in Singapore. That would also be the first gathering place and in 18 years, nothing has changed. It is still the first gathering place of the entire family. 

We then proceed to my Mom's side of the family and they make things very convenient for us by not living in different parts of the country (albeit a small country). Previously, they used to live in a really big house where the house was slowly expanded to include a second level to house another family and an addition to the rear of the house to house my grandmother (when she was still around) and an uncle. This is really a huge house and everyone had more than ample living space even though almost 3 complete families lived there. Some years back, the families living in the house sold the home to a property developer to convert the ONE BIG HOUSE into a condo (not the same as American standards, but in American standards, more like a apartment) complex of 4 floors and a total of 12 units. In exchange, the families got 2 apartments each and some cash. So, 3 of my Mother's 4 other siblings live there, which just makes it easier. 1 of the 3 that live there AND the other one who doesn't live there are actually out of town and that made it even more convenient!!!

That visit done, we proceeded to my Grand Aunt's home to have lunch. This CNY "morning schedule" has not changed in years. I remember doing this as a kid... exact same schedule. 

We spent a few hours at my Grand Aunt's home and then it was on to visiting Jessica's side of the family. Most families during our Parent's generation tend to be larger. My Dad has 5 other siblings, my Mom has 4. Jessica's Mom has 4 other siblings and her Dad, who is deceased, has TWELVE other siblings! Jessica's side, as far as visiting is concerned, is a little more fluid, as in, there is not as concrete a schedule as my family. So, I just tag along and be the driver as they tell me where to go. Between where Shasta is quarantined and these last few days of visiting, I have definitely gotten a crash course in where everything is in Singapore!!

The end of the first day was a visit to Jessica's Mom's oldest brother's home, which is also home to her Grandmother. Many of her Mom's siblings and their children (Jessica's cousins) are there and that's where we have dinner.

CNY Traditions

This is the part I like most about TRADITIONS.

Part of Singapore's CNY Traditions is GAMBLING.

Many families land up at a specific and certain destination by the end of each visiting day for dinner followed by gambling.

If anyone would like to trace the root of my gambling problem. I can tell you it points right back to CHINESE NEW YEAR TRADITIONS!!! 

As a little kid (7 years old, I think), I would be gambling at the same table with adults during CNY. One of the "traditions" during CNY is for kids (and unmarried individuals, which for the first year I AM NOT) to get "red envelopes". These red envelopes contain cash and it can range from $2 to whatever amount depending on how close you are to the person (again, I have always had positive cash flow as long as I have been in Singapore during CNY, this is the first year the cash flow was negative!). Anyway, we would take the contents of our red envelopes (aka Hong Bao) and gamble with that. Obviously, I was 7 and did not have credit lines or anything like that. My ATM was my Mom and there was some kind of limit to my losses (aka Mom). But, even at the tender, impressionable age of 7, I was already gambling.

 

The 2 most common games played during these gambling sessions are:

(1) Mahjong

For those of you who do not know what this is, it is NOT that Shanghai Mahjong stuff on your PC where you just click on matching tiles and they disappear. It's a little more complicated than that and just a wee bit too complicated to explain on this blog. But for a small lesson fee, I would be more than glad to share the components of this game with anyone!!! Like a friend text me and said, there can be "big or small" (as in the amount being played, meaning you can win or lose "big or small"), OR "friendly or unfriendly" (somewhat related to "big or small" because, the bigger the amounts played, the more "unfriendly" the game becomes).

It is popular but not the most social activity because the game can have only 4 players and it's hella noisy.

(2) Cards (specifically, Singapore's version of Blackjack)

To the uninitiated, it looks like the Vegas version. But it has a ton more rules and busting is not necessarily always a loss!!!

In this Singapore version of Blackjack, you get dealt 2 cards face down. 

You cannot stand unless you have 16. 

Ace plays as 1 or 10 unless with a J, Q, K or another A. Just like in Vegas Blackjack, if you get A/J, A/Q or A/K during the initial deal, you have to show the dealer your cards. Unlike Vegas, you get double your bet, not 1.5 times. If you get A/A on initial deal, you get 3 times your bet (but this varies from household to household, some households only pay 2 times your bet). Again, if you do not get any of the above hands in the initial deal, Ace plays as 1 or 10. If the dealer gets one of those above Ace and picture card hands, you do not only lose your initial bet, you have to top it up to double the payment. There is no such thing as insurance.

During the game, all cards are kept face down. Even if you bust, you SHOULD keep your cards faced down as you push if the dealer busts too. 

There is no splitting, there is no double down.

The only other 2 things that I can think of that this version has that is different from the Vegas version is, you can draw to a maximum of 5 cards. If you have 5 cards and still have not gone over 21, you win double. If you take the 5th card and bust, you pay the dealer double your bet. This applies to dealer too. And here's where not showing you have busted makes a whole lot of difference. If you have busted and the dealer goes for the 5th card and busts, you still get paid double your bet!!!

Last difference and not everyone plays this. Triple 7s pays anything between 3 times your bet to 7 times your bet depending on household.

This game is a lot more popular than Mahjong because it is a lot more inclusive. It can have many more players and since you are betting for yourself, there can be players of all ages. The young ones betting $2 and the older ones betting their life savings....

That's what we landed up doing at Jessica's uncle's place at the end of the first day. I won $20!! Yippee f**king yea!!!!

TBC